A New Organization

I would like to announce that I have been named the president of a new liberal think tank. Just Kidding! First, I know that the words liberal and think together are oxymoronic. I was thinking of what could I come up with that would seem worthy of a liberal think tank that had not been, to my knowledge, addressed. Then it stuck me, I could write about anything that was intrusive. To get myself into the mood I first had to make up a liberal alter ego and decide what was important to them. Here is the list.

• Global warming is real and man made.
• The government is the solution to all problems.
• The minority should rule the majority.
• Some people need preferential treatment because of past wrongs.
• I am superior to anyone who is not a liberal.
• Individual rights are not important for the greater good of society.
• Rules are for others, not for me.
• The most important thing the Unites States should work for is to be loved by other countries.
• The Unites States should use international interpretation of laws as a guideline for U.S. law.
• The U.S. Constitution is outdated and needs to be revised. The revision committee should include "nationality challenged individuals".

Here it is.

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For the purpose of saving the planet, vehicle speed limits should be set for each vehicle based on the EPA highway mileage ratings. These speed limit guidelines have been approved by the United Nations but are not binding for developing countries.

• Ratings below 15 MPG would be limited to 40 MPH.
• Ratings 15 - 20 MPG would be limited to 45 MPH.
• Ratings 20 - 25 MPG would be limited to 50 MPH.
• Ratings 25 - 30 MPH would be limited to 55 MPH.
• Ratings 30 and above would be limited to 60 MPH.

Addendum A

• E-85 vehicles can jump up 1/2 a category.
• Gas - electric vehicles can jump up 1/2 and category.
• E-85 - electric vehicles can jump up 1 full category if random E-85 testing is done.
• Diesel vehicles using bio-fuel can increase by 1 a category if the exhaust does not smell like McDonald's french fries.
• Diesel bio-fuel (non McDonald's smelling) - electric vehicles can increase up to 1.5 categories depending on the source of the electricity used to charge the vehicle. Call the U.S. Government power plant hot line at 1-666-262-5223 (1-666-COA-LBAD) to determine the source of fuel used by your local power plant.
• Full electric vehicles can go as fast and as far and they can.

Any vehicle not specifically defined by the above regulations should not be driven until you petition the U.S. Government Department of Speed Regulation for their verdict. E-mail your petition to http://www.us-gov-dsr-un.org/. Speed of reply will depend upon completeness of your petition. Please call the U.S. Government Department of Speed Regulations hot line at 1-666-786-2986 (1-666-RUN-BYUN) for assistance in determining the completeness of your petition form.

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Please don't send this to a liberal. They might think it is a good idea.

Datadiver 1-1-2009